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All writing as is. Raw. Though
future plans are in motion to properly correct spelling...This
was very new to me in 2001-2002 and as time and years passed
I've become better at writing. In fact I won't even group my
newer writings in here. That will be a page for my
accomplishments. I'm not saying you won't find and I do mean
find because some of this...Well heh same subjects horrible
writing. Though it is all raw. As it was written for the most
part at least. I was a good speller then though
still failed at certain words as will be noticed.
Stuck and hurt
She told me she was sad
She said she didn't wanna talk about it
I begged the differ
I tryed to help but she walked away
I felt hurt
I didn't know what was wrong
She walked away
I then caught up with her and ask again
She told me to leave her alone this wasn't my concern
She said and besides i didn't care
I knew it wasn't true
I knew i cared
She didn't see it
So blind from so many things
So she ran far away
I let her be
I didn't care no more
I lied on my bed and let everything go
Like a wasted drunk with no where to turn
I couldn't move,talk,nothing
All i knew was i felt hurt
No matter what i said
No matter how many times i said i loved you
She heard nothing
Nothing mattered to her
No matter what in her eyes i never cared
So i lie here and i can't move i can't walk i can't talk
Im stuck im hurt
Dream world
A dream world of happyness
A dream world of wickedness
A place to lie my head
A place to leave this world
The dream is where i like to be
A world of im not sure
The dream world
A place to confide in
A place that leaves me at peace
A place where nothing seems to go wrong
If something does
You can awake to a scare
Knowning that nothing is wrong
You can awake to happyness
Its your dream
Its your dream so as you may awake to how you wish
The dream world
A place to confide in
A place of sorrow and mystery
The dream world
My home away from home
Reality
I close my eyes and rest
I dream of you my darling
These same dreams happen over and over
These dreams just get worst as days goes on
I dream of you my darling
I guess the love we once shared is gone
I guess what we used to have is gone
Everything is erased
I tried holding you but you move away
I don't question you,Im to afraid of thee answer
You see in these dreams you leave me here all alone
In these dreams i dream i have awoke and you was gone
In these dreams im crying as i lie here without you
Im needing and wanting
In these dreams i can't have
Today i have awoken
You was no where to be found
So i lie here and cry
I lie here wishing you was back
I wonder just what is that made you leave
These questions i have so many
Now there left unanswered
Now these dreams are my reality
Feb 3rd,2002
Without you
Alone i lie here looking at the skies
Alone i stare at the dark clouds
I love the darkness
I love everyhting when i lie here
Lying here all alone
There is no sun,nor is there heat
It is just me,the stars,and the darkness
Life as i wish
It's peaceful and quite out here
No one to annoy me
No one threating me
No one to make me feel like nothing
It's just me all alone
However im missing something
Im missing someone that is
Im missing you my love
If you was here I would have someone to talk to
Someone to hold,Now however I will lie here alone
Gazing into the darkness with no to harm to bother me
All alone without you my darling
Noloco Feb 3rd,2002
When everything seems so perfect
When everything seems so perfect
Everything else just gets in the way
The better i feel,The worst i get
Just when you thought God was great
Something evil stepped in your path
Though i must not cry,Crying never helps
Thoughts of sucide,Just a waste of my time
Life seems to be a endless trip into no where
I struggle to be better,Yet i fall back down
Another loser in a land of perfects
When everything seems so perfect
Everything else just gets in the way
Aug 26,2001
Who to trust
Look left,Look right
Do you feel the terror
Are you scared?
Everyday you live in fear
When will it be your time
When will you die
You wonder why you are here
You always wonder
Your scared
What if you make the wrong moves
What if something happens to you
Will you be missed,Will anyone care?
Will you be remembered
Will you be forgotten
You live a happy life or so it may seem
You tell no one how scared you are
When will it end,When will you die
You thought of sucide,You thought of everything
You couldn't kill yourself
You just couldn't
So now you sit staring at the wall wondering what to do
Who to trust
In this life it seems everyone is against you
You lie awake at night
Thinking of all the untrusting people
Scared of yourself
Scared of where you may lead yourself
As days go by alone,trapped,hurt
Who to trust,who to blame
Everyone seems wrong no one seems right
No one to trust,be scared of yourself
Alone in this world,dont be afraid
Who to trust,who to blame
When will it end,when will you die
Alone
Alone wishing you was here
Alone wishing i was closer
Alone wishing i was there with you
Alone never there for you
Alone making a fool of myself
Alone tired of everything needing you
Alone waiting for the day
Alone within my home
Alone needing,wanting,and wishing you was here
Alone waiting,Alone waiting to be with you
Alone i sit
Alone i think
Alone feeling trapped in a world without you
Alone the feeling of being alone
Alone it feels forever
Penny in my pocket
In my pocket lies a typical brown American penny.
This penny is just like me.
Alone,unwanted,in need of a companion.
In my pocket lies the lonely penny.
No vendor,Not even the cashier wants a penny
So alone not ever accepted the penny lies here in my pocket.
It seems that everyone accepts the quarter,dime and nickel.
Just like the rich,the normal,and the properly dressed people.
I'm like the penny
I'm different and i can't be accepted
In my pocket lies the penny
June 18th,02,However revised Oct 7th,02 and revised 5-24-07
Alone in this dark cold world
I'm alone in this dark cold world
I'm not sure what to do
It seems I'm loosing my mind
It seems I'm out of time
It seems that everything is going away
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
Everything is so messed up
My mind can't cope with this insanity
I think I'm loosing it
I don't know what to say
I lost my mind today
I think I'm going insane
What to do?
What to say?
Screaming out in pain
Tears are falling like rain
Loosing my mind without you
I'm so alone in the dark
I'm so alone in this world
To be set free from the darkness that holds me captive
Alone awaiting to be pulled from this dark world
Out into a open forest on a early morning hike
The leaves fall apart as everything along with it crumbles
I walk along the path
Spider webs fall to pieces as i pass down the trail
Birds chirp,Animals play,The sun shines
The morning smell of the woods
The creator and all his wonders
Serenity an escape into happiness
You with me holding my hand
You with me smiling and carrying conversation
Awoken and startled another dream of what will never be
Another dream
Another day
Dark and bleak nothing ever changes
A life of misery so cold so alone
Where have you gone?
You left me all alone
My dear love i have mistaken what you have given to me
You walked out telling me it was over
Now I'm alone again
It seems I'm loosing my mind
It seems I'm out of time
I need to find that path
Into the light and out of this darkness to find you
Into this pillow i cry i need you more now
I need you more everyday
Longing for you i was such a fool
Alone...Alone again..Alone without you
My grandma
The Chair still remains upon the porch the one grandma sat in
Sitting here the feeling of loneliness sets in
Grandma gone and i sit alone in her chair
Crying and thinking of what was once and now is gone
Grandma was always smiling when i came over
Remembering her welcoming
Always willing to give and greet anyone
A joyful person in life someone i could always trust
Now grandmother has past away and I'm alone without her
Tears fall from my eyes more and more
Thoughts of her just want go away
Sitting in her chair on her porch
The sun so bright
The day so beautiful
Remembering grandma sitting and telling stories of her past
However she is gone and i sit alone with these tears that fall
Happy thoughts of what life was with her
So i cry and think of days gone by
Grandma i can never forget
A lady of love and peace
A lady so nice and sweet
My grandma the Lady i will always miss
Alone without you
My life turned into nothing
With you gone I'm so alone
I feel like nothing's ever gonna be the same
Awaking without you in my arms..so alone without you
Alone i lay
Alone i cry
I must live my life without this pain that you have given me It's my life
It's my world i must live it the way it has always been
but without you in it it will never be what it once was
I must go on
It's my life
It's my world
You will never force me into making me want to belive your lies and those things you say
It was always you love me and you needed me
But it was all a lie
It's my life
My world
Nothings ever gonna change
Only now its who do i trust with my life and my world
I fall to my knees i cry out in pain
I need you more everyday
It seems that i can't escape from your love
It's my life
My world you must be gone you must get out of my head
I don't need you now i will never need you again
I must force you away
I must be isolated from everything you have given me
Its my life
My world
All alone without you
Claudia the lady in red
I never knew happiness
That is until i met you
I never knew of a walk in the park
That is until i met you
Claudia the lady in red
You showed me light
When all i seen was darkness
You put a smile where there was once a frown
You showed me the world
At least the world i never knew
You lighted the path that used to be dark
I was trapped and lost down this path
Never did it ever lead anywhere's
This room was my world secluded and alone
How would i ever repay you?
Claudia the lady in red
You was silent and never spoke
Holding my hand leading my way
Even though you was deaf you never gave in
Claudia the lady in red
You was strong and willing
I however pure ignorance
When all i ever knew was darkness
When all i ever thought was i don't care
What is this life for?
I was blind and never seen things the way you did
I want you to know Claudia I love you
Life,time,and space
Life is a twisted path that always tends to fork off in different directions choosing a path can lead to destruction or greatness
Life so sweet and sour never knowing when its sour and or when its sweet
Life like a roller coaster at times suddenly your dropping at a quick speed and then you come to a stop
Life sometimes so slow you can swear you got behind a bus driving along a road and not being able to pass
Time slowly when there is nothing to do
Time speeding rapidly when you have to much to do
Time it's a race against you
Time sometimes it just want compete with you
Space somewhere beyond the rainbow i do say
Space above the clouds so high
Space a vast area busy just as the city in rush hour
Space gliding slowly when you look above
It's all about this life we live
The time we have
The space we need
Though i doubt you care
do you?
Break apart
Break apart the hollowness inside
Fill me full of joy
Break apart my dreams of something so real
Let it be a mirage that i can only see
Break apart this love for you
Just when i thought it was real
You're so fake
You're so full of it
I just wish you would go
Go away...far away
You break apart everything i felt was real
I just wish i could break apart your world
Break apart everything you felt was real
I just wish i could make you feel the way i feel
Break apart all you ever loved and wished for
Sure things will never get better in life
Does it mean you had to go and mess mine up
Why is it you left me here to wonder why?
You have broken apart all i have ever felt for you
You was my love now you are my lost
Desert of zyran
Threw the vast landscape of emptiness
I walk through... the barren wastelands
Where nothing grows...I cry
It seems so in need of something
Or maybe someone
I also see its beautiful,peaceful and quite
The wind so swiftly and quick
The wind creates swirls of sand
Spinning round about in this desert
I scream knowing no one hears me
I wipe away those tears from my face
I know not if it is to cry or smile
Time comes and goes though this land forever desolated
As i look out over this long stretch of hot barren lands
"As a child i would have complained of how it is hot
How home would have been better so much better
Pulling on my mom's pant legs wanting to go back home"
Realizing now that what once if seen was not so beautiful is now beautiful
Now as i look out over this massive landscape of sorrows
I also see The wonders and magnificent beauty this place can be
Like diamonds sparkling The sun dances across the sand
No trees not even a water hole o
Though the cactus live about in this land of emptiness
It seems so much better then the loud hustle and bustle of the city streets of Zyran
Though this was only a drive away from what i see everyday
To take a walk to get some fresh air so maybe its not the most coolest air
Though so much less pollution
Now though i must go
Getting in the car I'm crying again
I'm gonna miss this place
I shall come back
So now i ride away off to Zyran
Back to the anguish
Back to the noisy place i call home
Back to Zyran
Without your love
Everything is nothing
Since you've been gone
This Life of hapyness
Is now a life of emptyness
You was my love
At least i thought
You was the light
Darkness now is all i see
Days come and go
Your love lost
I hate it now to see your gone
My bed empty
My thoughts astray
Once upon a time
I could say i loved you
To hear your voice
Filling this home so full of joy
Now my home so hallow
Now im alone
Now im nothing
Reaching the rainbow
Sometime's it seem's im cursed to this place
Though i know it's all a test of life
You fall down,but you must get up
Never let nothing get in your way
Stand your ground
Time's will get tough
Life may seem to crumble under you
However it's a test
A test to see just if
You are strong
If you are willing
Or able to move on
You must realize
When you reach the rainbow
It's alot better on the other side
Down lonely roads
Down lonely roads.
In need of a love so true.
Awaiting, anticipating.
"Where is he?" You ask.
Nervous, in a hurry.
Another man,
Another night.
Though still, it doesn't feel right.
Crying all alone.
Home with no one.
You're asking yourself questions once again.
Asking mother for advice.
Mother said he will come, you say.
Someday he will come.
Everything you been needing.
All you ever wanted.
A love so true.
Though mother would give those eyes of warning.
"Patience dear," she would say.
A man of that liking is hard to find.
Though he will come.
Every thought.
Every doubt will be washed away.
Down lonely roads he will walk.
Confused and in need.
Looking for you.
A love so true.
Along this road
Along the road there was a man
Dressed In tatterted and torn clothes
Sadness covered his face
One thumb out he needed a ride
Homeless and aged
I see his face threw the window on the bus
The bus Im riding from one town to thee other
I feel so In need to help
However I speak nothing of It
Who to trust In this world of lies and evil?
All though I still think I should have spoke
Was I wrong for being quite?
Still to this day I can see him
Vividly In my mind he never leaves
I could have done something but I left him
Now It's me walking along this road
Though they past
No one ever cares to stop
Who to trust I ask?
In this world of hate
In this world of evil
Vampire Hunter
Arising from the depths of an ancient land
Walking thee earth once again
Hair long and black
Slowly drifting threw the wind
Eyes that could scare the dead
He has a smirk across his face
Such a serious man
He stands above the crowd
On a hill high above
Astounded by him once again
They all cheer for here he is standing above
They thought he was gone,dead
Though he stands
Proud and bold
Tattered clothes
A sword in hand
Dirty so dirty
Yes but he was a brave warrior
When the king called
So he came
Not scared of nothing
His duty was at task
The kingdom was slowly vanishing
Though he stood
Ready to take on all vampires
Just as he did so many years ago
Winter time
It was a dead silent
It was cold and unbearable
Lingering so close
Death was near
Summer was gone
Desolated in this icy world
Frozen over
Unbearable pain
Freeze me with cold
No more remorse for all that dies
A decaying world
It is winter time
Shattered ice
Another victim to the cold
Screaming for help
Quickly frozen in ice
All thee beauty
Turns to depression
Twas was the flowers of may
So bright
So colorful
Looking oh so happy
But we all die sometime
It is winter time
Stranger of the grave
Remember the rain ?
The sound drip droping
Remember me ?
Holding you so very close
A mediation of sorts
Rain the sweet surrender
Wanting to never let go
Embrace..a wonderful state
Clouds dark
Like a trance
Hands spoke...
For words we didn't need
In the graveyard we held one another
Two lovers
Nothing to fear
I never knew you
I found you there
Sitting on the grave
Such a beauty
Dressed in black
Pale as death itself
Pressing my lips to yours
Stranger of the grave
Awoken in bed
I wonder to this day
Was it a dream ?
Was it real ?
I drive myself mad
I crave your touch
Never there
Never ever there
Tears stream down
I want you
I need you
Im here without you
I wonder though
Was it meant to be ?
Me alone without you
Just a memory ?
Just a thought ?
A craving i yearn ?
Stranger of the grave
i would give everything up
Just to hold you again
On a cold wet afternoon
Stranger of the grave
You're everything i crave
I live without you
Desolated
Abandonded to my desire
To be with you
Stranger of the grave
More then friends
May i be the one to hold your hand
To tell you you're a really good friend
May i ask if you will take a journey
Let me show you the way
Threw mountains and various dirt paths
A vast beauty of so many creations
Threw woods we venture
Staring into your eyes i see
The love you have for me
Your dress so colorful and bright
Your hair golden
Your voice so sweet
I sometimes wonder
Will we ever be more
Then just friends
I want to ask
May i be your lover
More then a friend
I hold that question so deep down
Im scared of the answer
Or what could come of it
We enter the berry patch
The journey ends
All thoughts of loving you more
Suddenly stop
I stutter over my words
Gazing into your eyes
I smile and share a laugh
As you call my name
We pick thy berrys till sun down
Leaving this work of nature
Suddenly the woods and berry patchs
Fade away left behind
Back home alone
My question still lingers
Will we ever be more then friends
In the wake of fear
Warmth of your body
The feel of your hands
your hair smells of strawberrys
Yours eyes....
Could melt thousands of tears
Never could you hurt a single soul
I feel protected by your touch
Safe in your grasp
I could die with the stare of your eyes
One single kiss
Thats all it took
A realization that i would be no more
A virgin
Never would i be laughed at again
Very slowly you lied down
Giggling and smiling
Flirting with my every desire
My hands move up your skirt
Nervous and uncertain
Though wanting to never leave
This sensation of everlasting pleasure
I do as you command
No thought of what i was doing
Lost in desire
I felt myself deep in you
The sensation grasps at my mind
It grows stronger
Wanting more
Finally it all comes to a stop
Minutes,or maybe seconds
I think to myself
This is what i been missing
This everlasting pleasure
In the wake of fear
I come to find
I have caught aids
A boy of 17
Sun rays and deaths gaze
A man stood on a road
Leading no wheres
Walking for miles
Never knowning for sure
Where the road will lead him
Sun rays beemed down
Swallowing his every desire
Deaths gaze followed so close
Nothing stopped him though
He wanted to get there
He wasn't gonna be stopped
Though where was he going
On a road that lead no where
Sun rays burning skin
Deaths gaze sends pain
The man still walks
A road to no where
This is life
Sun rays and deaths gaze
1-800-wetfoxx
Her beauty shines
Day and night
Her smile
A lovely smile
It replays constantly in my mind
Her voice a sweet melody
Never stopping,but continuing
I want to hold her close
Make her my girl
No one else
I want to be with her every minute
Though i can't be
She is only a dream
She is only a thought
A pleasure toy
A phone call away
I hit away on the keypad
I call her up
My lovely
My sexy
Wetfoxx!!
Screaming without sound
Black is all i see
Silence is all i hear
My voice afraid to speak
Screaming without sound
Everyday frustration becomes more
Dark are the days
Sometimes darker then the nights
Wasting away it seems
Wishing for more in life
Then a simple life
Drapped in silence
Wanting out
Never letting out
Small town lives
Dreaming of better days
Screaming without sound
Rage of anguish
Though it seems im alone
Is there something one could do
To bring light to this bitter place
SO bleak without interest
No one seems to notice
Everything is passing
Though repeating
A cycle that seems to be unbreakable
A void of darkness covers me
Im left to realize
Nothing will ever change
In this small town i live
Darkness
Darkness let it cover me
Hide me from all that hates
Blend me with pitch black
Let no one see
Im shamed of them all
Those who cause it
Those who torment
The darkness in all its glory
Tears may fall
Though nothing will be heard
So i hide
The darkness
A place some dare not tread
Joy of summer
Sensations of joy
Flowers of so many colors
Flower covered fields
Stretch for miles
Forever it goes on
So bright and vivid
The sun so high
Covering me in warmth
A lovely sight
So warm and wonderful
Im covered in delight
The joy of summer
A lovely time..
Ocean Angel
An ocean of mirrors
Shattered mirrors
Im Bleeding fear
Reflections of yourself
Everything thats wrong
Broken,shattered
Your eyes still glisten
I can still smell the sea breeze
I want be with you forever ocean angel
You have never failed me
Your beauty welcomes me
Always,forever
The waves have crashed over your lovely body
I have failed you
The smell of the ocean is gone
The taste of salt water is gone
I bleed failure
It's all my fault
I have abandoned you
Though they say it's human nature
I ask myself though
Could we change it ?
To see you glistening once again
The smell of the ocean water
Oh how wonderful
The taste of salt water
Ocean angel your beauty
Will forever leave man stunned
Though in the end
There is no change
I bleed fear,anger
Knowning you will never be ok
In a world of pollution & man
Shattered mirrors in an ocean of chaos
Fearing the possible
This is life
This is nature
Cry for the angel
There could never be another beauty
She dies slowly as days past
Ocean angel i love you
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